


The loss of your love is worth it

by Undercore (orphan_account)



Category: MCU, Marvel
Genre: Eventually there will be a major character death!, Howard is an ass, Howard saw the future!, M/M, More people will be added, Special serum, Tony gets hurt by Howard, Tony gets wings!, Tony has powers! :D, Unfinished, but only until Steve comes :3, but there will be more powers :3, clone, just an idea, pepper has to deal with tony, possibly mind control, there will be a clone, traumatic Childhood?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-13
Updated: 2015-08-23
Packaged: 2018-04-14 10:37:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4561377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Undercore
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony hates his father, he hates him for everything that he's done to him. All those years of pain, his father injecting him with something that didn't seem to have any affect. Tony had cried and screamed, Howard had ignored it. Tony didn't understand why he had done that. Not until now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * For [my two friends medie and clod](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=my+two+friends+medie+and+clod).



"No! Daddy, please, no!" A little boy screamed, trashing about, tears rolling down his young, chubby cheeks

An older man was holding the younger boy by his arm, a needle catching the light, filled with a strange golden liquid.  
" I'm sorry son, but this is necessary. Y-You'll understand when the time comes." the older man said in a shaky voice.

Taking a deep breath he brought his hand down, the sharp needle digging into the small boys arm.  
The boy screamed out in pain, but his cries went unheard, swallowed by the darkness that was the forest near their house. " Daddy..." He sobbed, Watching as the golden liquid vanished into his body. " W-Why..?"

The man sighed, picking up the boy who was going limp, his eyes falling shut in sudden exhaustion. " I-I'm sorry Tony.." The man whispered broken, horrified at what he was doing to insure his son's life, planting a kiss on the boy's hairline. "I am So, so sorry." 

Tony's mother didn't say a thing as her Husband entered the house with her unconscious son in his arms. 

She stayed silent as Howard carried him to his room and layed him gently onto his bed. 

She stayed silent until he walked back into the living room.

Quickly she lung forward, snatching his hand before he could disappear into his workshop, not to return for hours.

" Howard, Why, why are you doing this to tony?" She asked, trying to keep the accusation out of her voice.

But Howard heard it and a humorless smile danced on his lips as he turned to leave.

He stopped at the door, turnin his head slightly to the side " I do it to make sure he lives, honey. I saw my son die and I wish to not see it again." He said, then closed the door.

She stood there, mouth slightly parted. Oh, what had see done to deserve such an insane husband and a son who was being deformed by his own father?

There were no visible changes to Tony's appearance.

But a mother knew her offspring, and tony was hardly her son anymore.

Tony was hardly human anymore


	2. Chapter 1: No pancakes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't decided quite yet what Tony's powers will be, but I've got a couple of ideas ^^

Tony sighed, resting his head against his fluffy pillow.

It was 6:30 am

Way to early to be awake, so Tony rolled over onto his side and closed his eyes.

Sleep.

Sleep.

Oh come on, just go to sleep, body.

...?

No?

Nope 

Tony's eyes flew open again, scanning the room carefully. It was still dark outside, since it was November and the sun rose late, meaning everyone was still asleep and everything was pitch black.

The only light that illuminated the white sheets around him, casting an eery blue glow on his pale skin was his arch reactor. 

Absentmindedly he tapped a random rhythm on the device, wondering if he should go down to the workshop. 

But then he might bump into Steve, who was probably already awake, getting ready to jog and he didn't want to run into him.

Not that he didn't like Steve, he liked him allot. He wanted to spend allot of time with Steve actually.

But he couldn't do that. He had to keep his distance, from everybody. He couldn't get too close to anybody. Not pepper, not Rhodney, not the avengers and most of all, not Steve.

He still didn't know what his father had done to him, but he sure as hell wasn't going to hurt his friends by accidentally killing one of them.

Tony knows he has powers ( thanks to is asshole of a father), that's how he actually got out of the cave in Afghanistan. He had almost been killed, his suit malfunctioning since he couldn't finish it completely, before he had felt a searing pain and everything became a blur.

When he came back to his senses, he was in the middle of the desert with pieces of his armor scattered around him, partly burned and partly melted.

What had happened was still a mystery, but everyone at the camp had been brutally murdered and all of the stark industries weapons had been completely destroyed. 

Tony sat up, running a hand trough his hair and tried to push the thoughts away. He needed some coffee since it was obvious he wasn't going to fall asleep again.

Swinging his legs out of bed and standing up, he stretched, letting out a small yawn.

Soft footsteps echoed in the room as he headed for the door, reaching out to open it when it slammed open in his face

With a pained grunt and a yelp of surprise Tony stumbled backwards, holding his nose which had been hit, god it hurt!

" Oh Tony! I'm sorry! JARVIS said you were awake, so I came to check on you since you're usually in your workshop or sleeping at this time and I was worried and oh god, your nose! I hit you with the door didn't I? Are you okay? It's not bleeding is it? I'm really sorry, I can-" Steve rambled, stepping into the room, a worried frown etched onto his face.

Tony held up his hand, silencing the blond while he put on a careful smile. 

" yeah, Steve, I'm fine. My nose isn't bleeding, so don't worry it. You can go back to jogging now or whatever it is you do at 6 am in the morning"

Steve's frown grew as he lifted a hand to rest on Tony's shoulder.

Tony flinched at the contact, his eyes widening in fear and he stepped backwards, putting distance between himself and cap.

Tony saw Steve's slight wince at the reaction, but he didn't say anything about it, since the billionaire usually avoided physical contact. Everyone though it was because of Afghanistan. But oh, if they knew.. 

"Tony, uh, I could make us some breakfast? Omelets or pancakes?"

At that, Tony raised an eyebrow. Steve not going for his morning run in Favor of spending time with Tony? An absurd suggestion that was!

Tony smiled weakly, shaking his head " Nah, go ahead cap, go for your jog. Breaking a routine is never good, I'll be fine."

Steve opened his mouth to argue, but then seemed to reconsider and gave his teammate a curt nod, before saying goodbye and walking out of the room.

Tony sighed in relief, sitting down at the edge of his bed.

This was exactly what he had been trying to avoid, now that Tony had declined pancakes, god, pancakes, Steve would know something was up and wouldn't let it go until Tony told him what was wrong.

Not that Tony was going to tell him, he wasn't crazy. If Steve wanted to spend half of his time trying to convince tony to tell him anything, then that was cap's problem, not his.

But if Steve got the help from the other...

With an annoyed sigh, he let himself fall back onto the bed.

He was doomed.


	3. Sir, I'd advise..

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A first glimps of what Howard's serum has done to tony...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so a little by of blood and a little bit of swearing and just tony in pain mostly. Sorry if it kinda sucks, I write these at 3 am so yeah ^^"  
> Enjoy~
> 
> (P.S. I apologize for any mistakes, I didn't go over it again. Once I'm awake again I'll re read it and try to correct anything ^^)

It had started with a slight ache, which he had ignored.

It was common to get back aches when you're hunched in weird angles, fixing one device or the other.

What was uncommon was that the pain was only at two distinct spots between his shoulder blades

But he still ignored it, screwing another part into place before making JARVIS run some tests on the stability. Not that he doubted his own calculations, it was always better to make sure.

" there is an 89% chance of it not exploding, sir." JARVIS informed him.

" great, switch it on!" Tony said, flopping down onto a chair and spinning around, waiting for JARVIS to follow his order.

" Sir, I'm not sure it's wise to-"

Tony rolled his eyes, waving his hand nonchalantly, chewing on a pencil that had somehow founds it's way into his mouth. " Just do it, JARV-" 

Suddenly the ache in his back turned into a searing pain, forcing a pained groan from him as he fell forward and out of the chair.

He stopped himself from smashing his face into the hard concrete beneath him with his arms, holding himself up a few centimeter above the ground before letting himself fall the rest of they way, curling up into a ball, and trying to reach the part of his back where the intense sting was coming from. He let out another groan, tears forming in his eyes at the pain. What the Fuck was happening?!

" Sir? You have an elevated heart rate and seem to be in much pain. Shall I alert Bruce or call for an ambulance?"

Tony shook his head, gasping. He pushed himself up, his vision slightly blurry. He was unsteady on his feet and stumbled around the room, throwing most of his workbench's contents on to the floor as he made his way to the bathroom.   
" JARVIS, initiate lockdown protocol A274, don let-don't let anyone in without my.. Permission. Unless, I am-m unable to give out orders." He wheezed, crumbling against the cold bathroom wall.

He squeezed his eyes shut, before taking a deep breath and pulling of his shirt. Cold air hit his sweat covered back, but it didn't relieve any of the pain. Breathing in short, shallow breaths, tony turned around to look at his back in the mirror, trying to find the source of pain. What he saw made his brain stutter in shook.

Two bones were pushing themselves out of his back between his shoulder blades. They hadn't pierced the skin, but it was stretching, obviously not going to last long. 

" Holy shit." He gasped, leaning heavily against the wall. " What the-the fuck?"

He continued stearing at it,them. What the hell was happening to him?! What the fuck was happening with his back!?

" JARVIS? W-What the fuck is that?" 

" it seems you are growing extra body parts,sir, to be exact, wings. They do not seems harmful besides the obviously painful effects of growing them. They will not affect your health in any negative way and it seems your skeleton, your entire body in fact ,sir, is adjusting to your wings."

Tony shook his head in disbelieve, Falling to his knees. This can't be happening. He knew it was his fathers fault. Of course it was his fathers fault. With those damn injections. He bet his father hadn't even known what he was doing. He had just injected shit into his son without fully-

" FUCK!" Tony screeched as he felt skin rip on his back, the burning pain setting his back on fire. He felt blood run down down his severed skin and he felt the bones move, growing and moving out of his body. 

Tony moaned in pain, his legs and arms giving out beneath him, leaving him as a pile on the floor.

" Sir, Pepper is requesting entrance. She insists it's a very urgent matter. I'd advise permitting her access and contacting doctor banner to assist you with your current situation."

Tony didn't respond, not really hearing his AI as he lay on the floor, the pain blocking most of his senses. All he could she was a blur, all he could hear was the blood rushing in his ears and his own pained noises. All he could feel was the pain and he tasted a bitter, metallic taste in his mouth.

" Permission granted, Sir is in the bathroom, Miss Potts. I would advise calling Doctor Banner or medical assistance."

" Why JARVIS? Is Tony- oh god, Tony! JARVIS, what Is wrong with h-what are those on his back!?"

" They seem to be wings, Miss Potts."

" oh dear lord, Tony. What is wrong with you? Can't you just not do one stupid thing for once in your life?"

" JARVIS get Bruce, call 911 and contact the rest of the avengers."

" Of course."

" come on, Tony, it's going to be okay.."

Tony didn't hear her, he was already drifting into unconsciousness, blood still gushing from the open wounds on his back. God, he hated his father.. Was the last thought he has before he plunged into complete darkness.


	4. Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony fights his inner demons

It was dark, completely dark. He couldn't see anything, he couldn't hear or feel anything. He was numb, drifting in nothingness. He ached all over, but he pushed it to the back of his mind. He couldn't think straight, everything was kinda blurry and unclear. 

Not that there was much to think about in this emptiness.

Suddenly he felt something pull at him, hands grabbing his shirt, his hair, his jeans, his feet, dragging him down.

He hit something wet and slippery ad they dragged him further down, the fluid rising up to engulf him. Some of it splash into his face and then he realized what it was.

Blood.

A strangled scream wretched itself out of his throat as the hands dragged him further down and the blood rose higher, covering him, flowing into his mouth, his eyes, ears, nose. He struggled , splashing around, trying to find something to hold on to.

But there was nothing and he was pulled under, blood filling his lungs as he screamed,silenced by the thick fluid. He couldn't see or hear, he could barely breath and all he felt was the blood surrounding him and the hands greedily grabbing at his clothes and flesh as he drowned.

Drowned in blood.

The blood of all the people he had killed 

When it hit him, he grew limp. Grief swelling in his heart for all of the people he hadn't known, would have never known, but who he had killed.

He let the hands of the dead drag him under, letting them tear and scratch at him.

He let them punish him, he deserved the blood that was drowning him like the waters in Afghanistan. He deserved the hands that dug into him, leaving scratches and bruises on his vulnerable skin.

Was this how death was like?

Cause he deserved every single punishment hell had ready for him.

Suddenly there was a little light and he laughed, because really? Why the hell would god take him? He didn't even Believe in a god. 

But the blood around him shimmered red in the light.

It grew bigger and stronger until it was almost blinding. But Tony didn't reach out to it. Whatever it was, he didn't deserve it, so he'd just lay here drowning and hurting for eternity. Release would be too good.

But the light shifted and moved, forming the outline of a person. A man. With blond hair and gentle blue eyes, a hand reaching out to help him.

" Steve?" He thought.

" Tony..." Came the quiet answer.

" Steve?!" He thought, panicking,

Steve couldn't be here! Steve didn't deserve hell! He was too good, he didn't have blood on his hands like tony did! He-He couldn't be here!

" Tony, you *don't* deserve this."

Suddenly he started to cry, tears mixing with the blood.

" But I do Steve, I do."

" No, Tony.."

" Just go Steve, you shouldn't be here. This isn't a place for you..."  
Tony sighed , closing his eyes as he saw a hand reach out for his face. He felt as sharp nails lashed at his face.

" Stop doing this to yourself Tony! Wake up! You can't leave everyone! They're scared, Tony. You won't wake up, they think you're in a coma, but you can wake up! You can't just give up, Pepper ,Rodney, the avengers, Steve. Steve!  
They're all waiting for you. So stop tormenting yourself and wake the F*CK up!"

Tony bloody eyes flew open, narrowing " You're not Steve. Steve never swears at me."

Steve laughed " I'm not Steve, you ass. I'm the "better" side of your brain, Tony. And since you like Steve soooo much, I've adapted to the image of your liking. Now stop stalling and wake up! You can't keep them waiting forever. Tony you have a life. You can't throw it away just because you can't handle what you've done! Think of Steve Tony. You can't leave Steve. Don't give up on him, not yet."

Tot sighed " But-"

Steve-not-Steve glared and reached down, grabbing Tony by his shirt and dragged him up " No buts!"

Tony struggled, slapping the white hand, hitting and scratching it, but it wouldn't let go, pulling him up out of the blood and into blinding whiteness....

Tony woke up with a gasp, his breath heavy and eyes wide. He looked around. This wasn't his home. The walls were white, bare and A machine was beeping loudly and quickly next to him. It was his heart beat he realized the next moment. 

" Tony?"

He wiped his head around, coming face to face with brilliant tired blue eyes and a small smile.

" good morning."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. So Tony Kinda passed out after having wings grow out of his back. But he didn't wake up again, the pain reminding him of Afghanistan, Afghanistan reminding him of the people he had killed. And then he kinda started punishing himself in his mind, refusing to wake up in favor of torturing himself. But another part of his mind wouldn't have it and forced him to wake up I guess? Anyways next chapter Tony'll have to deal with his new wings :3


	5. Secret

" Steve..." He breathed out.

A hand reached out for him, squeezing his arm gently, a comforting gesture.

" Mhm...." Steve hummed, closing his eyes, his smile widening. " I'm glad you're okay, Stark."

Tony nodded, leaning back to rest his head against his pillow, looking down at his arms. He had an IV stuck stuck in his vein. He felt an ache in his back and then it hit him.

He lurched forward, craning his neck to look behind him, to see if he really had wings.

He did.

Long golden red wings, with millions of long, delicate feathers sprouting out of his back, ruffled and messy.

Hesitantly he moved them, watching as the new addition shifted at his will, spreading out, wider and wider until they were fully opened, spanning meters across the room.

" Woah..." Steve whispered, his tired eyes lighting up as he reached out, his hands curious to touch the shimmering feathers. 

Tony hesitated, watching Steve and slowly, carefully, angled a wing towards the blond man.

Steve gave him a small smirk, making Tony nervously smile back.

Tony took in a sharp breath when Steve's fingers gently ran down his wing, so careful and caring. Tony closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling of Steve, Steve so close and yet so far.

" I was worried about you..." Steve admitted, letting his hand drop to Tony's dismay. " The wings... They-They were just clawing themselves out of your back and there was so much blood and it looked like you were going to die tony, Jesus-" Steve stopped himself, biting his lip.

Tony frowned, folding his wings and leaning forward, still not used to the heavy weight. " Steve.. it's okay."

Steve shook his head "No, Tony. It's not! You just sprouted wings. WINGS! How?! How is that possible!" He stood up, the chair falling backwards.

"Steve-"

" You could have died! And you're not a mutant, no mutant has the same powers twice and there's already been a mutant with wings tony what is this?!"

"Steve..-"

" Who did this to you? You've never shown any signs, no love of birds or airplanes, sure you have the iron man suit but you didn't really dream of flying, you haven't gotten any alien parasites, weird toxins, chemicals- have you? Where have you been the last weeks? Anyplace dangerous? It's not magic is it? Because I know-"

" STEVE!" Tony snapped, annoyed that Steve wasn't listening to him. " Shut up for a second! Okay!?"

Steve nodded, picking up the chair and sitting down again, his blue eyes boring into Tony, waiting for an answer, an explanation.

Tony stayed silent, looking down at his hands. Unsure of how to begin. " I-I... Um, was warned something like this might happen.." He admitted.

Steve eyes narrowed, his hands clenching into fists and he opened his mouth to say something but tony held up a hand, stopping him.

" But I didn't know. I didn't know I would grow.. Wings.."

He took a deep breath, looking up at Steve.

" When I was a kid, I was.. Injected with a substance. A serum. Not like yours! I didn't know what it did, but it hurt, um, but there were no visible changes with my body, DNA, brain, Intelligence, abilities, nothing. But I kept getting injected, until he was happy with it-"

Steve interrupted him, leaning forward, snarling " Who is he?"

Tony looked away, pressing his lips together tightly, his face empty, Not revealing a single emotion.

" Tony..."

"..."

" it was Howard, wasn't it?"

Tony flinched, edging away from Steve, but didn't give him an answer.

" That bastard! That arrogant ass-"

" Steve!" Tony yelped, tears now forming in his eyes " Don't- Just Don't! He had a reason, he had a reason, god, Steve, he had a fucking reason.."

Steve looked unconvinced, anger sill burning in his beautiful blue eyes. " There isn't a good reason to harm ones own son.. There is never a good reason."

Toy drew his legs to his chest, wrapping his arms around his legs, letting his wings curl around him too, offering him a sense of protection.

" I never said it was a good reason Steve- He knew something, he saw the future or at least that's what he said. He didn't tell me what happens in the future but he kept mumbling that he wouldn't let it happen he wouldn't let it happen- and-" Tony gulped " He.. Told my mother why and I.. I overheard them talking."

Toy closed his eyes, resting his head against his knees.

" He saw me Die, Steve. He saw me die. And he saw who killed me-"

Steve stood up, sitting down next to Tony on his bed, a hand reaching out to comfort the billionaire. But the man shook his head, deflecting the hand with the new wing. " I know who kills me,Steve. He said my"powers" would come when the time was near, when that person will start becoming a threat to me.."

Steve opened his mouth slightly, but closed it again, swallowing loudly.

" Tony.. who is it?"

Tony shook his head , letting his wings a fall back, leaving him open to Steve's comforting warmth which didn't come, the man sat were he was, not moving. " I can't tell you Steve- you'd, you'd hurt them."

Steve shook his head " No, Tony I would protect you-"

Tony growled, his eyes glaring at Steve " I'm not telling you okay?! I don't want this-" he pointed at his wings " To be real! I don't want to know when I will die, how I will die and who will kill me! I thought my dad was crazy, but evidentially he wasn't, and the clock is ticking Steve." Tony laughed humorlessly " I'm going to die soon, Steve and no matter how much my father really loved me, how much he hurt me to make sure I lived." Tony leaned his head against the wall " I'm still going to die. You can't just change that. " 

" Tony..."

Tony shook his head.

" just go Steve.."

" Tony-"

"Steve, just leave, please!"

" Tony-"

" I SAID GO STEVE LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!"

He stared, shook clearly written all over his face then...

Steve nodded curtly, a hurt look on his face as he stood up,pushed the chair back against the wall and left. 

" God fucking damn it." Tony chocked, burying his head in his hands. 

 

 

" Why the fuck does it have to be you?"


End file.
